What is the most played song in YOUR house right now?
Since just before last New Year’s Eve, the most requested song from me and my kids have been This is Me.It’s one of the big anthems from the movie, The Greatest Showman.
The words of the chorus go like this:
“When the sharpest words want to bring me down,
I’m going to send a flood,
Going to drown them out.
I am brave,
I am bruised,
I am who I’m meant to be,
This is Me.
Look out because HERE I come.
And I’m marching on to the beat I drum.
I’m not scared to be seen,
I make no apologies,
This is Me.”
Actually, I’ve only just in the past couple of weeks stopped balling my eyes out when I played it at its loudest volume.
You know those songs, right. The ones that you FEEL inside of you and you can imagine were written just for you.
And well, you were right.
This song is for so many people … the freaks, the dorks, the nerds, the lovers, the fighters, the change-makers, the workers, the entrepreneurs, the artists, the office chicks, the scientist, the clowns.
Because regardless of who you are, and what you look like, I guarantee that at some point in your life you have not felt enough.
I can think of SO many times in my life when I was not enough. Where the decisions of my past had cast judgment on my capabilities or my physical-ness …
I’m not feminine enough.
I’m not popular enough.
I’m not tall enough.
I’m not knowledgeable enough.
I’m too tall.
I’m too fat.
I’m too smart.
I’m too out of touch.
I’M TOO MUCH.
I’M NOT ENOUGH.
And, the most recent of this has been the past few years, as I’ve grappled with ‘coming out’ of motherhood.
Over the past few years, I’ve never really stopped working. It’s the joys and side effects of running your own business.
It’s been my choice.
BUT, even this fact hasn’t stopped me feeling like I wasn’t enough to be back at the front stage of my own business.
That the 15 years spent nailing career goals – and sporting goals – before I had children, somehow was not enough for me to be an equal contributor.
That because I had picked up a million new and incredibly helpful skills as a mother, that didn’t involve sitting at a desk looking at my computer all day, I was not worthy.
Seriously, I dare you to list all the things you are now good at because of being a mother. But, back to my original point …
Just because I was not clocking up the achievements on my personal success and notability tally, created through decades of striving, mind you, I would not be able to REALLY contribute to what had become my husband’s business.
The stories went something like this …
I don’t know enough.
I’ve been out of the game too long.
The clients know him.
I need more training.
What if I mess it up.
I need his approval.
I don’t have enough time to commit.
I’m not earning enough money.
I’m not contributing enough.
I’m not enough …
I’m not enough …
I’m. Not. Enough.
These voices suck. And, I assure you, they are as full of crap as the five-year-old boys in my son’s schoolyard talking about who can run the fastest / climb the highest / throw the farthest.
Yes, you may need to spend a little time UPGRADING your skills in your field.
Yes, you may need to ask for HELP a little more than you did in the past.
Yes, you may need to adjust your personal REALITY of what success means.
BUT, please hear this: you are TOTALLY, ABSOLUTELY AND MOST GORGEOUSLY, ENOUGH.
And, more than anything, right now your business needs you to know this.
Our men will drive themselves into the ground providing for us.
They will work around the clock until they break.
They will whinge, or quietly withdraw because the pressure is so high.
But, they will rarely raise their hand.
They are intrinsically wired to hunt and gather for us. And, they will do it at the cost of their life.
If you want to see a change in your life, in your relationship and in your business, it most likely needs to come from you.
You absolutely have the skills that his business (which, by the way, is yours as well given all the unpaid hours you’ve put in updating websites, advising on strategy, doing the books and answering the phones over the years as you juggled the babies and the schoolyard) needs. You’ve already been doing it for years.
Confidence comes when you make the decision that you have something valuable to add.
Then, it comes from a diligent application of your Evolved Identity, a new breed of Courageous Communication and an ability to use language to Buy-In.
It’s all formulaic, yet it’s all an experiment at the same time.
What really needs to relax is your need and desire to get it right first time. For it to be perfect.
Once you see that good things come from the raw learnings of failure, the world is your oyster.
If you want a hand prying open your shell though, I’d love to help.
Let the world know to look out, you’re coming. And I am so excited about watching you walk that road to the beat of your drum.
Are you a woman who could you use some support getting back into business? Email Bec here with ‘Empower Me’ in the subject line and let me know a little about you and how I can help you to own your strengths and grow your business.
Rebecca is the Co-Founder and CEO of The Institute for Couples in Business. Bec is also trusty wife to husband and business partner Ed, and mum to Samuel, 4, and Charles, 2. For the past seven years Bec has been working with business owners, and her Super Powers include making complex problems simple, creating strong connections, and motivating teams by building kick-arse culture. Bec is also author of #1 best-seller Lead-The-Ship and hosts popular podcast Boardrooms & Bedrooms.