LEADERSHIP isn’t a set of ‘things’ that you have.
It’s not a manual that has a bouncing ball to follow.
It’s a TRAIT, a CHARACTERISTIC, an ENERGY, a LEARNED set of SKILLS, A MINDSET that someone holds.
You are not born with it – I take that back, some people are – it IS learned. BUT, it requires a commitment to learning.
It requires a commitment to a NEW WAY.
It requires a commitment to seeking PEACE not JUSTICE.
Sure, you can fight for the way you are doing things now. But, if they are not giving you the results that you desire, want or need to feel happy, then is it a worthwhile fight?
If the way you are doing things NOW isn’t getting you the results in your relationships, your business, your personal happiness, what makes you think that they will change by fighting for your way?
If you want to see the change, you have to BE THE CHANGE. You have to LEAD THE SHIP to where you want it to go. You have to lead it to the passengers you want to board and then you have to get them on.
That might feel to you like you have to ‘give in’ … again.
That might feel to you like you are ‘not getting your way’ … again.
That might feel to you like ‘he is not listening’ … again.
But what if, what if you just LET IT ALL GO.
This need for him to see it your way. What if you just let it go? And what if this he’s right and you’re wrong / he’s wrong and you’re right dance just no longer existed?
What if all there’s only TRUTH — your TRUTH and HIS TRUTH? And, both are perfectly right.
This is about seeking peace before else. And, it requires bravery to seek peace.
Justice is easy. You can cut any body’s head off on the gallows. You can blow the house down in one breath. You can take an eye for an eye. You can inflict pain because you are hurting.
You can stand in the pain, own it, share it and beckon forth a new response.
BUT, you have to be willing to respond differently. You have to be willing to do it another way.
You have to be FIRST willing to LEAD YOUR OWN SHIP. To get intimate with your own being and to stand for what you REALLY want to fight for.
To feel ‘at peace about it’ is to no longer be triggered by the outcome. And that is not possible if you do not first find peace within yourself.
How can you WHOLEHEARTEDLY listen to others – your tribe – if you are too clouded by the things that you perceive to be right?
There’s no leadership on holding strong to something that’s not working. That’s just lunacy.
There’s leadership in STANDING FOR something. For communicating loudly and clearly why you do, but being OK if others don’t agree.
Leadership is colourful. It’s not black or white. It’s empathetic.
Yes, there are certain traits and characteristics that you need in order to become a better leader.
There’s an internal and authentic voice you need to capture;
A style that feels natural but expansive for you;
You need to adopt some Courageous Communication skills;
You need to learn the art of Influence;
Mostly, you need to believe that what you are standing for is worth every ounce of what you have behind it.
Don’t think that by checking off all these things you’ll nail it first go. Nope, you’ll need to practice. And then practice again.
You’ll get knocked down … again … and again … and maybe again.
BUT, if you are willing – and ONLY if you commitment to speaking and seeking truth – you will CUT THROUGH.
Things will start to flow. HE will SEE YOU. He will SEE YOUR WAY.
It may not mean he wants to go that way. BUT, he will SUPPORT YOU in it. Because, you are important and he sees this new way of being important too.
Gandhi said it and I’ll repeat it again : If you want to SEE the Change, you have to BE THE CHANGE.
Would you like to see my Feminine Framework for Leadership?
It’s a model that’s designed to allow women to lead in a way that supports your natural state of creative and ever-changing nature. If you’d like a copy, email me with ‘FRAMEWORK’ in the subject line and I’ll shoot this over to you.
Rebecca is the Co-Founder and CEO of The Institute for Couples in Business. Bec is also trusty wife to husband and business partner Ed, and mum to Samuel, 4, and Charles, 2. For the past seven years Bec has been working with business owners, and her Super Powers include making complex problems simple, creating strong connections, and motivating teams by building kick-arse culture. Bec is also author of #1 best-seller Lead-The-Ship and hosts popular podcast Boardrooms & Bedrooms.